April 5th, 2010

donna by lindenharp

The Broccoli Test

There's a great post here - that puts a few modern pairings through the broccoli test. (The Arther/Merlin is particularly hilarious), which inspired me to try my current favourite pairings.

1. Michael/Alex (Prison Break)

Ahahahahahaha. Seriously? These two would ACE the broccoli test. In fact, I would have to accuse them of cheating since canonical telepathic ability is the only explanation for some moments in the series. Remember the bit where Alex finds the origami crane made out of a page of Whistle's bird book with the single word GATE written on it, and deduces from it not only that T-Bag has taken Michael to the headquarters of a firm called GATE (that they've never before heard of) and where this building is, but that they're in an underground lair accessed through a trap door in the floor of T-Bag's office AND the exact moment to arrive in order to sneak up behind T-Bag and save the day? How in the name of HOLY ANYTHING is that possible without some kind of mental communication?

So, yeah. There wouldn't even need to be an eyebrow twitch, Michael would just have to think BROCCOLI in Alex's general direction and the job's done.

Conclusion: EPIC WIN

2. Matt/John (Live Free or Die Hard)

Oh, dear. No. Really, no. Even if they had the ability to pass the test, they'd both refuse to take it. First up, I'm not sure either of these two knows what broccoli is, what it looks like, where you would buy it or why on Earth you would do so. If by some strange miracle one of them did, the other would decide it would be last thing they would ever eat, on general principle. These two like their cultural divide the size of the Grand Canyon, thank you very much.

Conclusion: EPIC FAIL

3. Jack/Gwen/Rhys (Torchwood)

I think Gwen and Rhys would do okay, as any long-term couple who shop together eventually build up a kind of synchronicity. Jack would ruin it, though, by coming back with a sex toy. Every time.

Conclusion: EPIC SEX
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